Counter-dependency

Militant individualism
Repression of self-consciousness
Repression of elements of the personality
Retreat into ignorance

Nature

There is a current tendency for people to attempt to maintain their individual stability, order and peace, by retreating into a private universe and avoid all encounters which would wake them up. They attempt to control personally their intellectual contexts and social structures, preferring to be bound by habits and institutions, reduced images of security and well being. Social controls are used to deny the things which they would prefer not to know. Only life styles which seem to be successful in this attempt to remain asleep are pointed to as significant ways to participate in society: the modern experience of the struggle to be significant in society is often called the rat race. The result is a feeling that social structures are crumbling, roles are becoming meaningless and impotent, and participation in decision-making processes are ineffective.

Background

Counter-dependency has been described in psychological circles as a reaction against extreme dependency. Counter-dependent people feel so dependent on others that they must convince them (and the self) that they do not need anyone at all and, hence, act so as to say, "I don't need anybody".

Incidence

Counter-dependency, characterized by an aversion to reliance on others, has been observed across diverse cultures and socioeconomic groups, affecting interpersonal relationships, workplace dynamics, and mental health outcomes globally. Studies indicate a rising prevalence, particularly in urbanized societies where individualism is emphasized, contributing to social isolation and reduced help-seeking behaviors. The phenomenon is increasingly recognized as a barrier to effective therapy and support systems, with significant implications for public health and social cohesion.
In 2022, a survey conducted by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare highlighted a marked increase in counter-dependent behaviors among young adults in Tokyo, correlating with heightened stress and reluctance to seek psychological support.

Claim

When there are radical changes in the external world and familiar social environments disappear, people have no way of recognizing their personal significance in the universe nor of understanding their own importance. In order to shield themselves from the threat of being exposed to larger questions, they bury themselves in their jobs, families and leisure activities, and leave everything else out. They no longer function as self-aware persons.

Counter-claim

Counter-dependency is vastly overblown as a problem. In fact, it’s simply a natural expression of independence and self-reliance, not some dire psychological issue. Labeling it as a major concern pathologizes healthy autonomy and discourages people from developing resilience. Society should stop obsessing over counter-dependency and focus on real problems instead of inventing new ones out of normal human behavior. Let’s celebrate independence, not stigmatize it.