Permissive child-rearing

Lax parental discipline
Inadequate childhood discipline
Progressive parenting
Parental permissiveness
Lax parental responses
Rearing self-absorbed children
Lack of constructive family discipline for young people
Parental toleration of sexual activity of children
Parental toleration of alcoholism in children
Parental toleration of drug addiction in children

Nature

When parents do not apply systematic discipline to the rearing of their children, the children will fail to develop the social and personal skills – such as consideration for others and self-control – that are necessary for a normal adult life. Children who are not held accountable at home for their behaviour do not learn the difference between socially acceptable and socially unacceptable behaviour, and they do not learn that there are consequences to the latter. They remain in the self-absorbed state of infancy. Without a framework of obedience to the total family there can be no free participation of every individual within that family. The family can thus not develop a corporate wisdom, which is the basis of family policy and actions. When a lack of family discipline is combined with a lack of parental willingness to allow the children to be significantly engaged in society, young people are left with excessive amounts of time and energy to expend on activities of their own improvisation.

Some parents not only refrain from disciplining their children, they go out of their way to give praise, regardless of the child's behaviour. They fear making the child unhappy, and so compensate failures and the inevitable logical consequences of misbehaviour with praise or gifts. Thus children learn that they should be rewarded for any work, no matter how mediocre, and they refuse to accept responsibility for their mistakes.

Background

Permissive child-rearing emerged as a recognized concern in the mid-20th century, notably following the publication of Dr. Benjamin Spock’s influential works, which advocated greater parental leniency. By the 1970s, educators and psychologists worldwide began reporting behavioral and social challenges linked to overly indulgent parenting. Cross-cultural studies in subsequent decades highlighted the global spread of permissive practices, prompting international debate on their long-term effects and the need for balanced approaches to child development.

Incidence

Permissive child-rearing practices have been reported with increasing frequency across diverse regions, particularly in high-income countries such as the United States, Canada, and parts of Western Europe. Surveys and longitudinal studies indicate a rise in households where parental authority is minimal and children are granted significant autonomy, with some estimates suggesting that up to 20% of parents in these regions adopt a predominantly permissive approach. This trend has prompted concern among educators and child development specialists regarding its potential long-term social and psychological impacts.
In 2022, a study conducted in Sweden highlighted a marked increase in permissive parenting styles among urban families in Stockholm. Researchers observed that parents often refrained from setting boundaries or enforcing rules, leading to challenges in classroom management reported by local teachers. The study underscored the growing prevalence of this child-rearing approach in Scandinavian urban centers.

Claim

Permissive child-rearing is a deeply troubling problem that undermines the very foundation of responsible parenting. By failing to set boundaries and enforce consequences, parents raise children who lack discipline, respect, and resilience. This approach breeds entitlement and emotional instability, ultimately harming not only individual families but society as a whole. Ignoring the dangers of permissive parenting is reckless and short-sighted; it is imperative that we address this issue with urgency and seriousness.

Counter-claim

The parenting style peculiar to a culture may seem excessively permissive to others, and yet result in socially productive adults. In the Roma culture, for example, the child has a special place in the family, adored and cherished by his or her parents. Everyone in the family helps raise the child, allowing children to learn by imitation and active participation rather than through theoretical lessons.